September 29th 2009
So I was reading again about Abram’s faith in Genesis 15 and it’s clear that Abram also had a lot of doubts. But he believed God enough that God credits him with righteousness. It sounds like the key is that Abram took his doubts to God. So what am I doubting?
Will I be able to preach well without preparing?
Will I hear (and follow) the Spirit’s voice to know what to say and do in each situation with each person?
Will I be a good team leader?
Will I make the right decisions?
Will I impress Don and Randy or let them down?
Will people think well of me or realize I don’t know what I’m doing?
Abram took his doubts to God but then he believed God. God what are you saying to me in these areas?
I believe God is going to use me. I don’t know how some of these things will work out and that’s okay. It’s not really about me anyway. It’s about God. As Randy would say, if God can use a donkey to speak to someone he can use me. I don’t need to worry about impressing anyone else because God is already impressed. He already loves me. He’s excited for me, he’s cheering me on. I don’t have to be perfect (and it’s probably better for Ecuador if I’m not). God will use my mistakes too. If God uses me despite my mistakes that’s an encouragement to our national workers too. They don’t have to be perfect, God will use them too!
That’s a great reminder to stay vulnerable, share my mistakes and fears, model being a humble imperfect servant who believes God and gets used by God anyways.
God please help me not to make it about me. Please help me let go of my desire to please people and perform well. Let me be a good servant. It’s about you and it’s about them, not about me being the star or getting the accolades.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
September 28th 2009
Ecuador! Well it was a crazy day today. We (Randy and I) got to share at church about the coming trip and a lot of people were interested and excited about it. Then we had our trip meeting this afternoon with Aaron and his son Matthew at Randy’s house. Then we had small group tonight. Tabby has been juggling the kids all day but it has been nuts.
But what a day! God poured in some finances for the trip after Randy and I spoke. Someone gave Randy $100 after church. Our small group took up an offering and gave me $111 and then a person from church left a $500 check in our mailbox! It was amazing. Aaron didn’t have all the money yet for him and his son to go. Now I get the privilege of helping support a teammate. This is a great way to build the unity on the team. Aaron sounded excited when I talked to him tonight.
(10/15 Update: As it turns out God had a big plan and we were a part of it. As of Friday, one week before the trip, Aaron and Matthew were short several thousand dollars towards the cost of the trip. But on Friday he got a $500 check, and some other money came in. I told him Sunday night about what God had provided from our end and that night when he opened his mail he had another check for $1000. By Monday God had provided around $3500 giving them all the necessary funds with about $60 extra! Wow that was pretty cool and we got to be a part of it!)
There is so much to do and get ready for, I’m worried about getting it all done. I’m excited for the trip but also scared and nervous. What will I say? Will I do a good job? If they ask me to preach will it stink or will God use it? How will I do being a team leader when I’ve never done this before? There are a lot of questions. I believe God is going to do a good work in me and through me but the unknown aspect is scary. I hope I do a good job and represent him well.
Ecuador! Well it was a crazy day today. We (Randy and I) got to share at church about the coming trip and a lot of people were interested and excited about it. Then we had our trip meeting this afternoon with Aaron and his son Matthew at Randy’s house. Then we had small group tonight. Tabby has been juggling the kids all day but it has been nuts.
But what a day! God poured in some finances for the trip after Randy and I spoke. Someone gave Randy $100 after church. Our small group took up an offering and gave me $111 and then a person from church left a $500 check in our mailbox! It was amazing. Aaron didn’t have all the money yet for him and his son to go. Now I get the privilege of helping support a teammate. This is a great way to build the unity on the team. Aaron sounded excited when I talked to him tonight.
(10/15 Update: As it turns out God had a big plan and we were a part of it. As of Friday, one week before the trip, Aaron and Matthew were short several thousand dollars towards the cost of the trip. But on Friday he got a $500 check, and some other money came in. I told him Sunday night about what God had provided from our end and that night when he opened his mail he had another check for $1000. By Monday God had provided around $3500 giving them all the necessary funds with about $60 extra! Wow that was pretty cool and we got to be a part of it!)
There is so much to do and get ready for, I’m worried about getting it all done. I’m excited for the trip but also scared and nervous. What will I say? Will I do a good job? If they ask me to preach will it stink or will God use it? How will I do being a team leader when I’ve never done this before? There are a lot of questions. I believe God is going to do a good work in me and through me but the unknown aspect is scary. I hope I do a good job and represent him well.
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